It’s Already April, and…(Part 1 )

I was expecting it to be a great year, 2017…

            I lost my best friend, Edison: the little Yorkie dog I had since he was 3 months old, and his birthday was coming up of 12 yrs. on April 26, 2017. I haven’t had one day’s peace without remembering him and shedding a few tears, with a breaking heart. I miss him that much.

            So, yesterday was his birthday, and it’s April 27th, and I am lost in thoughts as to why I am taking this so hard. It occurred to me, I would not have taken this contemplation as far as I am now, were it not for the fact that I’ve lost my best friend, my substitute love, my child, my son, my baby, and my pet, all in one fell swoop, and now I think I know.

            It’s not secret I’ve had a tough life. Many people think tough lives are being in gangs, taking drugs, being considered handicapped, and those are all true. But no one really thinks of a neglected and abused child, who’s grown up to be a super-sensitive, neurotic, suicidal and terribly lonely woman, while on the outside being comical, friendly, being liked, and appearing extrovert, only a little flaky, that’s all…

            I know most people don’t tell anyone their secrets, but believe me: everyone has secrets they don’t like to share, much less think about. The people that have been neglected or abused are the most secretive, because they somehow seem to have come out of the worst of it—childhood. Yet, people wonder why these kinds of people never seem to be able to confront issues, they never seem to be able to achieve the directions toward success they wanted, they never seem to be able to keep friends, for lack of trust. In short: they are truly the most to be pitied. Even if one is handicapped, if they have parents that took care of them, showing their love and concern, then that person is better off than those quirky people whose parents were too busy being in their own dramas not to notice their children being abused by someone, or neglected by them. The worst and most sad, is that these neurotic people end up raising their own children the same way, especially if they are either in a bad marriage (brought about by lack of good role modeling), or in a single parent situation. The pre-claim I just made is not necessarily so about all parents. There are single parents that know how to love their children, but just could not stay in their marriage. And of course, there are all sorts of exceptions to the rules of life, including those children that were abused or neglected, and defied the odds by making it through life extremely successful–don’t ask me how they did it, I am not one of them.

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