I’ve known too many people who have chosen the road of “suicide.”
We say they were selfish or self-indulgent, and there is perhaps some truth to that. But we might also recognize that being most likely highly sensitive at the start, they were never equipped to have handled what others determined they should handle. Hence, “the weaker brother,” alluded to in the Bible and thereafter in songs, poems, discussions, in any section of communication that talks about emotional stamina, or emotional characteristics, or emotional growth.
So in my sad perusal over some people that decided to end it all, I analyzed a bit, then wrote a poem. This was not today, this was a long time ago. If you read my poetry page, it’s on there. I just wanted to write a little about the many people who have thought about it, or are still thinking about it…please do not end your life. Find someone who is stronger and don’t mind carrying you emotionally awhile.
I have never called a suicide hotline when I got that far, nor have I ever taken medication for my depression, and I might add, I’ve been quite depressed at times. Sometimes, it may even be better to talk to a stranger at a bar, or an elderly person on a park bench, or someone distant in the family. Suicide prevention people can get burned out sometimes, too. But there is usually a reason why they have decided to work the hotlines; perhaps they may have lost someone very dear to them, someone they loved and did not recognize as a potential suicide victim. I’m there many times, along with you on that depression cycle. Many people struggle with depression or desperation, feeling they have no options, but there are always options—they are just a little scary when thinking about making a stand or a change. Nonetheless, you are NEVER alone, in ANYTHING! Seek out someone, anyone, just do not go into that dark night alone.
Brighter days do come and It’s all worth it as time goes on, you just have to ride the waves and get to the calm and the beauty of it.
Another thing: who cares what people think about your hardships or your depression. Better to let people think you’re insane, and blurt out what you need to know on the communication line, to help you get through what it is you do not know how to get through, than to suffer in silence and feel unable to make it alone.
Sometimes we hang up on one servicer because they simply do not really know how to serve; or they did not seem to know how to recognize your problem, so we hang up and never call back, but call back; to get someone better to talk to. That is the same thing we have to do in life. Let me use as a metaphor the suicide hotline, but it’s useful for any aspect of life.
If our parents aren’t that communicative, find someone who is (that’s a “call” for help). But if that person expects any kind of emotional or physical remuneration when you are yet unable to return the emotional support, hang up! Call back and find someone else who is much stronger and does not need help emotionally (a different servicer or person to talk to).
My remedy here may seem simple but life was never meant to be so hard. There are a million and one people out there who really do care. Keep in mind we have over seven billion people on earth—you think having hit and missed 10 is a lot? You just have to keep looking until you find one. Sometimes, it takes a whole lifetime of hanging up and calling back, and sometimes we have to keep getting more and more information, so don’t stop with just one call. And remember, while you are in the activity of calling, you will have moments of clarity or epiphanies, or what some people call “a-ha” moments. Life grows, and if you pay attention, so will you, but don’t give in too early.
People are all on different wave lengths, meaning they all have different intelligences, or levels of understanding, and you also are in that array of intelligence and understand, so you have to consider your source, and consider the source that you are too. Find the right one for the right need.
Please: go out and live, and make that call when you have to!!