Pondering inside of Silence.

Marriage is the hardest thing anyone will ever do in their lifetime… most people don’t ever really master it…

Oh sure, people STAY together for a hundred years, but that isn’t mastering… many times that’s just accepting…

Perhaps the alternative is simply too frightening to carry out…it would mean we’d have to think again; make choices of our own, and accept consequences for our own behaviors… you know: the OTHER person isn’t there anymore, so we can’t blame them…

So we just… do nothing, squelch those dreams we had once upon a time, and go through the routine of life without any remarkable events, choices, or drama… Kind of like waking every morning, looking forward to going to sleep at night…

I have waited for so many years, for what? I’m not sure… It just seems accentuated sometimes, this sense that I am missing a very urgent place I’m supposed to be at, or a train that is waiting for me, or someone wants me to visit, but I don’t know who.

If occurred to me that it is the same exact feeling I feel about God. I have this relationship with an invisible being, who I am told love me and longs for me to be in this being’s realm—longs for all of us to be there.
It is not unlike the way most people feel about God. We keep living, breathing, doing, waiting for that death, then, the expected life that comes eternal afterward. We keep cleaning and going about our business, wondering when the big day will show itself, when we get to meet our God, and ask all the questions that were unanswered, see everyone that left, and finally, we will get to really rest—they say, it will be rest like we’ve never understood, but longed for.

So we keep going, even if we sometimes feel very weary and tired of the grind, of the routine, of the unremarkable vapor of our lives…

Oh, but there is that routine, and there are those in it that look to you or they or whomever, and expect that routine, because it gives a sense of comfort, security, ease from the storms of life, and a grand but tumultuous plight of purpose. What purpose? I’ve already covered that, in short: I don’t know. But there have been a billion and one that have gone before us, and probably just as many that will be coming after us… so we keep it up. We glory in the grind, because we know even if we don’t know here, that there is something beyond “here” that we are working toward…

Maybe it isn’t all that bad; maybe we’ve have mastered marriage after all…

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